Never Lose Your Sense of Wonder

Being human is hard.

Period.

End of post.

 

But seriously, it is so messy. It is scattered and haphazard and upside-down and downside-up. It is crooked and sideways and messed up in so many ways.

And yet, somehow, it remains beautiful. Somehow, it remains wonderful.

Somehow, it remains worthwhile.

 

Sometimes I find myself in a place of wondering why I am even here. What purpose do I serve? What use am I? And I always get the sense that, even if I received answers to these questions, I’d still be failing at whatever those answers were.

But then I take a step back and think: “Wait a minute, Self. What even is life? Is your purpose to be quote-unquote ‘useful’? Or is it something indescribably more?”

 

I’ve been learning lately that God is uniquely ‘other’ from humankind. He is wholly holy, wholly set apart, wholly different from anything or anyone than I have ever experienced.

And yet He wants to be with me. He wants to be a part of my life–in fact, not just a part of it, but the whole of it. He wants to know me, to be known by me, to love me and be loved freely by me in return. He wants a real, love relationship with me. And I every time I am confronted by this truth I get tripped up with one question:     Why?

Why would God, the all-knowing, all-powerful, eternally lovely and beautiful Creator of the universe bother Himself with me? The only thing I seem to be good at is breaking His law, and on the whole I really don’t do much to benefit Him. Why would He be concerned with someone like me?

 

It’s at times like these that I really need to learn to change my perspective. Born and raised in America, I’ve been conditioned to believe that my purpose is in my productivity and my worth is found in my work. If I am useless–if I am broken–then I have no value.

But is that what God says?

The Bible is full of verses about how the Kingdom of God is completely different from our way of doing things. Things of the Kingdom being hidden from supposedly ‘wise’ men and given to children. The weak things being made strong in order to shame the proud. Things that are not becoming things that are simply because the voice of God called them to be.

And perhaps that’s exactly what He’s called me to. To be. Not to do,not to strive, not to stress and control and fret, but to be. He’s called me to trust. Which I will be the first to admit that I am not particularly good at.

But life isn’t an event; it’s a process. “Though the righteous man falls seven times, he will get up” (Proverbs 24:16).

Yes, I will continue to fall. Yes, I will continue to have moments of doubt and mistrust.

But I will also continue to grow. I will experience moments of indescribable beauty and joy and peace. I will learn to trust. I will truly live, in the life to the full that Jesus died to give me.

The battle rages on, but the war is already won, and my God is my Hero and Defender.

 

“This life, therefore, is not righteousness but growth in righteousness, not health but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it. The process is not yet finished, but it is going on. This is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified.”

Martin Luther

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