Discovery

Hello. It’s me again.

Actually, it’s me for the first time.

Who is this mysterious ‘me’ that I speak of?

That’s what this blog is aiming to find out.

 

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, great, another quasi-artistically capable college student trying to quote-unquote ‘find herself’ through a blog.”

I understand. I’m sure you’ve seen this play out a thousand times before, and I’m sure the majority of amateur bloggers trickle off after about two weeks. And I’m not saying that won’t happen here, because the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know where I’ll be in two weeks; heck, I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow.

I don’t know a lot of things.

But that’s the beauty of a blog, eh? Semi-anonymous with just the right amount of social exposure to make this ‘choosing to be vulnerable’ thing an actual act of courage and risk.

And I aim to find out some of these things I don’t know along the way. Most likely, I will use lists to do this (I like lists. I am nothing if not practical). Anyway, here goes.

Goals of This Blog

  1. Find out who I am (easy enough, right?)
  2. Find out who God is (because, you see, I am what the conservatives would call a ‘Christian’, and what the mainstreamers would call a ‘follower of Christ’. I’m honestly not that good at it, but it–or rather, He— is the only thing that makes me feel alive.)
  3. Learn how to truly live before I die

How I Plan to Go About Accomplishing These Goals

  1. Random musings
  2. Talking to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit (all of them at once, because, you know, they’re the Trinity–one God, three Persons. Mysterious, I know.)
  3. Talking to myself (the name of this blog isn’t just for show, you know.)
  4. Having the courage to write and publish something even though I’m already halfway convinced that it doesn’t matter and can’t possibly change anything in myself or others (me and God are working on the C-word)

 

So. Yes. That is the plan. I hope I haven’t already scared you off; even though it may be counter-intuitive, I don’t think self-discovery is meant to be a lonely thing. I mean, I’ve tried journaling before, but it’s just not the same. Maybe it’s the added vulnerability, the added risk, the added transparency that makes this feel so different; I don’t know.

Whatever it is, it is freeing. And I pray that it will continue.

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